Disclaimer:-
I was asked to write a letter to a character that inspired me. My heroine , a 'character of strength', is NOT fictional and may not necessarily appeal to mass interest, but in iteration, the unfolding of her world is in every bit, an epic tale of a league of silent heroes...
Dear Princess Sultana Al S'aud,
You must have, since the unveiling of your life, received letters from women across continents and faith; I assure you my note wouldn't be any different.
Novelist Wallace Stegner, very beautifully penned in his title, All The Little Live Things - "There is a sense in which we are all each other's consequences". I couldn't agree more. I am, as you often recall in your telling, 'one among the more fortunate'. In that, I mean, I was born to a grandmother with a mighty heart who with her love and fierceness instilled a sense of courage in me. All of what I am, who I am, at twenty-odd years of my life is a reminder of her strength and will.
I wouldn't say that I was born on harsh terrains of fundamentalism where my kind suffers. No. I am blessed to be surrounded by men who are not just liberal in their thoughts but also persevere, through their actions, to preserve the well-being of their women-folk: I am very much loved and respected. However, I know that this is not how it always was. And over the years having moved out of my familiar surroundings, I have come to a shocking and humbling realisation that it is definitely not so everywhere and with every one.
As an adolescent in my naivety I may have reprimanded men, peers and acquaintances, making backward underhanded chauvinistic remarks; I may have also in a rage thrown anger-tantrums; been livid at the course of action meted by the men to women and girls...
In aftermath, I have found myself, therefore, questioning, "what is it to be a woman, today?" The answer of course is crippling because I was no longer the beloved child of my house but a woman of the society. And while my version of the society may not be barbaric, yet, even in its ultra-urban sense, predominantly is within patriarchal trappings. They maybe subtle but they are in myriad forms, and in numbers thus, many. Since, I attempted to understand, arrive at a solution albeit could find none; if anything it only exposed so many more gaping wounds.
And then, I read your story, story of the women in your life- it is natural to weep at the plight, but you are simultaneously inspired by the resilience and bold hearts that the discourse is replete with. More importantly in my reading and in your words of wisdom, I have found a resolute and the sense of a solace.
I concur with you that you will be suppressed, if you allow yourself to be. Irony remains that those who inflict pain upon us are also the ones we turn to, to protect us- them Men!
But through your actions and your thoughts you took charge in the face of opposition, and no matter how little you may have objectively affected the state of affairs; you did set a ripple in motion. The power you wielded will be felt by the generations of women ahead of you, your daughters included, much like my grandmother's efforts resonates in my life and destiny.
Thank-you for the grit you displayed by telling your story and reminding that we need to be the change we want to see; that no battle is small or big, and most importantly for a promise you have shown to the women in your land in the underbelly of darkness.
We all have a lot to learn...
In rapt reverence,
Aishwarya
Note to the readers:
Taking a page from the Princess' books ; we, as women, have to rise above and take control of our situation. We cannot just depend on the good men of our society- for what good do pillars do if the foundation itself is weak. We may not want to pay heed to the bleakness of our lives, but we have to bear the beacon of hope for our daughters and their daughters - for they will reap the fruits of our labour.
And to the privileged lot of us women, we cannot be removed from the affairs of our sisters, we have to move beyond our commiseration. It saddens me sometimes, how we have indulgently wasted away our favours in being self-sufficient. By that I don't mean, walk to the streets and start parading; we all choose our methods of battle. What I mean is, if you are educated, your parents have fought right to pay for your benefits, please do not squalor away that opportunity by gracing your homes alone. Showoff and show by example that you can lead. The more the number the better.
Having said that, if you take to caring for your family, it should be because you love them , not because circumstances favour that a woman take over, and you automatically fill in the shoes. Your nurturing nature, is somebody's privilege and not your obligation.
If you are beautiful, don't allow yourself to be reduced to a commodity; your beauty should be your confidence and not a vulnerability.
If a man is alone, he is perceived as desired and if a woman is alone she is assumed to be with fault - a defect or an attitude. So when you choose to be either, remember, it is your choice, and you allow either- you do not need a third party endorsement and you might as well be prepared to face the odds.
I think on a larger note, what I am trying to say is do not succumb. Sometimes your biggest adversaries are the ones closest to home, which means your fight will only get tougher. The idea is not to defeat somebody else. It is to win your dignity and lend it to our sisterhood. Heroes are not extraordinary but heroines need to be extraordinary. God Speed!
