The Harlequin's Fool

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DISCLAIMER: Issued in strict fictional interest. And some laughter.

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Mercurial. IF there is a better expression, I wouldn't know. But for now, this sums it up. 

Take it from someone who has worked her share in the 'armadillo's hole'; with no respite. Writing seems the only cathartic release. 

I hope to figure it out, as we go along. 

What? 

Women. Women Boss ('es' in my case). 

I am honestly at a point where I am fumbling through days. Everyday, you tread carefully; assess the weather of the workforce; work-out a strategy to approach the said workforce; second-guess your guess about the mood and then say a prayer and start the day's work. 

Capricious as they come, my kind, isn't my favorite pick of the day when it comes down to living or working, really. I would even go as farther to say, that my preference to share a bedroom or document would be; 

1) A Man- any man

 2) An alien 

3) that goat on the mountain-top

4) a toddler 

5) a spoon

...100 to the power of infinity) XX chromosome-d 

I do not doubt for a second, the matter expertise or the qualifications or the experience that you hold. No Dear Lady, I think evolutionary, women are more intelligent, emotionally and in cognitive sense. We are also intuitive. More mature even, most of the times. 

No. My contention is with your work-in-progress moods, a strange attachment to read-in-between-lines, a predicament with assuming every criticism as an attack to your worth, dignity, work, etc. And I have not even begun with the insecurities and the many emotional charades that follow. 

Confusion? Yes. Erm No. What? Why? What did she say? When? BUT...Good lord, can you decide already. 'Patience', please slap her. 

Now  I am not going to generalize and say, women are prone to creating more chaos, but there is some truth in the saying: 'Too many cooks, spoil the broth'. And God save Logic, if those cooks be Maidens. Cacophony, would be ashamed of how somber it looks, given this theatrical manifestation of 'discussion'. 

Here's an interesting D.I.Y. You thought space defies gravity?  Place 5 women directors with some fancy prefixes, a bureaucratic manipulation, in a board room. Tell me how you levitate? 

Oh, and here's how fun we can make the 'blame game'- Ask the women involved! She said, who said?! A Classic whodunnit. The lesson will reverberate, hereof, through-out your Life. For the rest of your Life! 

If you are a cosmic fool; as in, the universe loves playing pranks on you then you will be blessed with one of the either types, enlisted below;

• She, who shall love making your life miserable because she can. Defy her, question her, and she goes aggressive-Panda on you. Never mind, you may just be placing a point-of-view, different maybe, but being objective is not the KRA here. 'You are my slave, bitch!'. 
• She, who is a one-man army. No sorry, one-woman army.  There is 'I' and then there is the 'team'. Go figure your life. What you may miss is an occasional mentor, but for the lack of that, you come out self-trained and maybe perhaps a bit confident. OR. You just fade and die. Your call. But wait a minute; for the management's record- "I am always available, but the team does not ask for help". You maybe in for some serious derogation. Subject to occasional sarcasms
• She, who expects your CV to have telepathy as one of your many attributes. Did you say something? Super-sonic prowess was something I had written in the Job Description. She would have definitely told you a yard-long story about a certain assignment, given you a detailed load-down on your tasks and jobs; but you must have forgotten to make a mental note of them from her brain waves!  FYI '"I am right, and you are wrong. Always!" And mind you, she will change her mind several times. Like s-e-v-e-r-a-l. 
• (This is my recent exploration) She, who looks at you like this lamb coated in Blonde. No, you are seriously dumb. Do not touch anything, do not breathe;  IT's going to bark stupid. You will be taught how to spell. You will also be trained in how to train yourself to be a perfect sub-ordinate. Touch-me-not, common sense, because I will wither and die. You have to be apologetic if you have said/done anything remotely better than a one-thumbed ape. "Did you just accidentally spill some good work on me?"  
• A 'quick one' this is - She, who is slow and contained. No, let me think.....hmmmmm....zzzzzzz! Wait, don't move an inch,  you have not been allowed that luxury yet. In the meanwhile, you can doodle. You will get your Green signal, but at the penultimate moment. In good humour, maybe your speed and aptitude is being tested. Book of world records- "who can write me a proposal with the works, enough to impress Zuckerberg, within the time-frame of my fart!" Shazam!!! 
• And SHE, is the aberration. Cool, whimsical, super-talented, and super nice. Only a bit loony. There had to be an anti-climax. 

If by some grace, you have survived the above many manifestations, then my friend, you have an incontrovertible sense of humour. 

The only thing that keeps you from turning into ONE of THEM.